Am I My Sister's Keeper?

As the father of three daughters (and a son!) in their teens and 20s, it has been incredibly difficult to read about the Jane Doe case at Cornell University. Every day, it seems that another detail emerges. Every day, it seems that my heart hurts a little more.

It pains me to think that a very large percentage of a fraternity’s members did not see Jane Doe as a human being. They could not imagine how they would feel if that were their sister, cousin, mother, or girlfriend lying on that bed. They lacked basic empathy.

It’s not a new phenomenon, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

Consider this week’s Torah portion, Breisheet, in which we read the infamous story of the brothers Cain and Abel, the first two sons of Adam and Eve. Many of us learned this story as children. Abel made an offering to God from the best of his firstborn sheep, while Cain brought whatever fruit was at hand. When Cain realized that Abel had found favor in God’s eyes, he responded with violence and killed his brother.

God simply asked, “Where is Abel your brother?” Cain responded with the now-famous question: “Am I my brother’s keeper?” (Gen. 4:9)

God did not directly answer the question. By cursing and punishing Cain, though, God effectively answered it: Yes, you are your brother’s keeper. We are ALL our brother’s — and our sister’s! — keeper.

The same is true today. We must be guardians and protectors of our brothers and sisters who cannot guard and protect themselves. That was the moral failure of Chi Phi fraternity at Cornell University. Instead of being their sister’s keeper, they pounced on her and took advantage of her.

Many will say — and have said — that Jane Doe should not have gone to that fraternity house alone while under the influence of alcohol and drugs. While I can’t argue with that advice — after all, I was a member of a fraternity once upon a time — it ignores the real problem.

Instead of telling the Jane Does of the world where they can and cannot go in order to remain safe, we need to be teaching the fraternity brothers of the world that they are, indeed, their brothers’ and their sisters’ keepers.

And then, maybe, we will finally escape the shadow of Cain’s curse.